Update

I've been a little AWOL lately because I've been dealing with some sort of recurring UTI infection/similar symptoms/we don't know what the hell.

It's been over a month now, and I've taken four different prescriptions including a sulfa drug - and the primary symptom just keeps coming back. And then it will go away again. And then when I'm just feeling smug and free...BACK!!

My approach for today is to just pretend I have no problem. Nothing. Nothing to see here. Move along please. Maybe I can out think the damn thing, or it will go away if no one is paying attention to it.

Spent the weekend at my mother's house in beautiful autumn splendor and her very tastefully decorated home. We had a fabulous dinner of pot roast and three kinds of squash we'd picked up at the farmer's market that day. We also took a detour to check out a thrift sale...

And I got a peanut butter machine FOR A DOLLAR!!!




It's so cool!!  I couldn't find any cashews to try in it, but I got some pecans and made pecan butter, which was delicious on pear slices. We got some cashews yesterday and tonight I'll give that a try. I'm so excited!!  I thought I'd have to get a whole new food processor if I want to make my own nut butters.....but all it took was A DOLLAR at a thrift sale!!

On the downside, my step-dad really likes to buy doughnuts and leave them sitting out, and because I was feeling sorry for myself about the UTI situation....I had some. (And they were delicious). I don't feel HORRIBLE GUILT over it, but it's clear that my primal induced willpower and lack of cravings are not completely bullet proof and I do need to watch it. I'm also a bit bummed I did that because I've been hoping to break my current plateau and get moving again, and that ain't gonna happen if I'm scarfing crap.

In other news, I'm considering trying out dairy-free for a while and see what that does. I have mixed feelings about that. There are a lot of things I won't have any issue giving up, but eliminating cheese from all my cooking could sting quite a bit. I'm wondering if one can go mostly dairy-free, eating only cheese and only 2-3 nights a week and still reap the benefits of dairy free. I tend to doubt it since that's like saying if you only put ONE drop of red food coloring into the water, it will still be clear.

I might try no-poo again at some point - I cut all my hair off (seriously - pixie cut!!) and now I think I might see some of the "more manageable" results. It's worth a try at any rate.

Zucchini Pasta

NOTE TO SELF:

Next time try sauteing the zucchini noodles with a little butter and garlic. Might take care of some of the water and might give more of a noodle like texture.

More experimental cooking

I managed to fit in quite a bit of experimental cooking this weekend. Some of it by design and some of it accidentally.

The planned ones were sweets - I tend to gravitate toward those because they are much more foreign to me in their primal forms and I'm still getting a feel for what things taste like. Meat and veggie recipes I can usually look at and have a pretty good idea what it's going to be like.

I'm also looking for some things that will add a little more variety to lunches. I seem to want a little something sweet after lunch more often than I do after dinner. Dinner tends to be a heavier meal and I'm satisfied when it's done, but lunch leaves me wanting a little something. The dark chocolate is great and I've really grown to love it, but it's nice to have something different.

I've been meaning to try these Almond Butter Pumpkin Brownies for a few weeks now, and I finally got around to it. I used maple syrup rather than honey, and I don't think I used as much. The verdict is that they are a little bland but pretty satisfying. They're reasonably moist, but still taste just a little dry to me (and my son), but they kick ass with a glass of milk.

I also finally got around to trying out Truffles. They are excellent! The ones I made with rum are little strong, but the orange ones are fabulous. These might prompt me to overeat them, so I won't be making them often, but it's good to know I can and they are easy.

The surprise recipe was a German style baked pancake with a lot of eggs that I thought might be very much like my mom's Finnish Pancake that I love so much...but it wasn't.  It was made with coconut flour and was more like corn bread. Not too bad with butter and a little maple syrup, but not worth making again I don't think.

Life's been busy lately so our attempts at meal planning have been kind of dicey, but we've been doing all right. It's always easy to fall back on your basic meat and veg dinner, so staying primal is pretty easy. We HAVE gotten better at cooking a little extra (and not eating so many seconds) so that we have leftovers for lunches.

I also made a fantastic chili for dinner last week and not only got lunch the next day, but froze three more pairs of servings for future lunches.

I think I'm turning the corner on the season change adjustment - I've had an easier time getting up in the mornings again, AND I've had a little more energy for longer and more intense workouts. I'm still sticking to the somewhat lower intensity in general, and I won't be killing myself anytime soon, but I'm back to what I think of as more "regular" workouts. (And I got this fabulous Roller Derby Workout that showed up today and I'm going to do tomorrow!).

So Long No-Poo

I'm okay with that. I was expecting it. We picked up the folks from the airport Tuesday evening, and they were tired and it was late and everyone just wanted a hot meal. They are not primal and so pizza sprang to their minds first, and since they were the ones who'd been traveling and were beat, we went along with it. It's been a few months since I had "real" pizza from our favorite pizza place, so I enjoyed a few slices, and they were fabulous. Also a few glasses of wine.

Also, yesterday a coworker brought in some spice cake with cream cheese frosting and I had a piece. It's the first non-primal eating choice I've made that I regret. It was good, but not THAT good, and I really had no need at all for it...I just kind of fell into old habits and easy justification. So I'll try to remember that feeling and think twice the next time I'm deciding on a choice like that.

In the long run, it's no big deal and I'm already moving on and doing fine.

My workouts have been pretty light the last couple of weeks. A fair few 20-min ones that were low intensity and basic. I did a few Harmony doubles, and a good walking workout. This morning I opted to kick it up a notch and pull out one of my old FIRMs - Maximum Body Shaping. It felt pretty good and I enjoyed it a lot, although my elbow is still bothering me a lot and I'd like to get it healed up.

I'm no longer no-poo. I went back to shampoo out of a need for ease and luxury and I'm still in an evaluation phase. Both methods have their pros and cons and neither one is really remarkably better than the other over all. But shampoo is easier and it smells nice so I'm going that route for now. I need desperately to figure out what to do with my hair and depending on what I do I may go no-poo again. The only part of that experiment I'm sticking with is my face - I only wash it with plain water and a washcloth and it's been very soft and nice. I don't feel the need to use any kind of cream so I know something is good here. Although, I don't know if not using any is a wise choice or not. I probably will as winter creeps up.

Workouts and a Recipe Retrospective

Still waiting on Powerfit Harmony, but I've been having a lot of fun with my more "moderate" take on the cardio workouts. I also pulled out CLX Burn Circuit 1 yesterday, since I was getting worried about losing my strength - this was the plan all along, and now that it's cooler I feel more motivated to do the harder work.

One really interesting thing happened - I could do push-ups MUCH better than I ever have been able to. When I was doing the original CLX rotation, I was really hoping I'd be able to do push-ups by the end, but it never really happened. During Lean Phase, I was so wiped out all the time, I actually got worse. Now that my body's had a chance to rest up, though.....I was doing really good! (For ME - which is to say that I was rocking knee push-ups and going about halfway down on toes)

I've had some cooking successes lately that I took pics of but hadn't gotten around to posting before, so I will now offer up a quick retrospective on Things I've Been Eating Lately.

Philly Cheesesteak in a Bowl:  We had some leftover roast to use up, so I sliced that Philly style and it turned out really great!

Zucchini "noodles" with Spinach Sauce:  The sauce has been a family favorite for YEARS and was already primal, so it was just a matter of switching out the carrier. The zucchini was really good, although next time, I think I'd steam it longer - it was still a little crunchy.

And...Coconut Orange Pound Cake:  This is fabulous with a little butter and fresh strawberries

This weekend is mostly devoted to housecleaning and laundry - which I'm actually looking forward to, partly because it needs it so damn bad, and partly because Fall is my nesting season.

I love FALL!!

Whee!!  The weather is finally just the way I like it and I'm so thrilled!!  I've had kind of a strange feeling of peace or calm lately, and I'm trying - without picking it apart too much - to find the source so I can foster this. I think part of is has to do with getting the house cleaned up last week, and we'll need to get back into the habit of keeping it tidy, because I know that's a big influence on my mood.

I also think I'm starting to feel a little more motivated again now that it's cool enough to cook and do whatever workouts I like, etc...

I did a little cooking yesterday, and feel great about that. I did two spinach quiches, one for lunch today and the other to throw in the freezer on reserve. I also bought a bunch of salad fixings and chopped them all up right away and put them in containers for a kind of salad bar system that should make it a little easier and more appetizing to make salads with dinner, or throw one together for lunch. I did some other cut veggies too, and that made it nice to banging together three lunches this morning.

I tried making my own cashew butter, but my nuts just wouldn't "butter" - maybe they were a little too old and dry, I don't know. I've also considered the idea that my food processor just isn't up to the task. It's old and the blade has never been sharpened, so who knows. I'd REALLY like to figure this though, because there's so many great things I could do.

Got a dehydrator on Friday and tried out zucchini chips - they were a little bland, and probably could have dried longer, but I like the general flavor and I think with a bit of seasoning and practice, they could be pretty good. Also made my favorite squash soup and it was YUMMY. Next time I'm going to try doing the squash in the crockpot during the day, but really - it only simmers for 20 minutes anyway. I'm getting a little more fired up about trying new recipes again, and about doing a little meal planning. Hubby is maybe starting to see the value in that (he's hated previous attempts I've made in that realm and not been the most cooperative), so hopefully I can get him a little more comfortable with the idea.


I ran out of smoothie supplies last week, so I experimented with some IF'ing. Both Thursday and Friday I skipped breakfast, which wasn't too bad. I'll admit, I missed it a little, and I was STARVING by the time I got to lunch. But it wasn't horrible. It wasn't the wellspring of energy and clarity that several people say it is, but then I'm not going to expect a whole lot from anything until I've been primal for at least six months maybe more. I think there's still a lot of adjusting my body needs to do.

One interesting thing, which I will most certainly keep in mind: By Friday afternoon, I was craving bread and doughnuts like nobody's business!! This is the first time I've skipped twice in a row, and it must have something to do with that. I've also always held the belief, long before I went primal, that there's some magic on the smoothies that helped curb my cravings somewhat. So my conclusion is either don't IF two days in a row, or be well prepared to deal with the results. Have a really great dinner planned or something to keep my mind off Krispy Kreme. (Note: I had a smoothie this morning and the thoughts of doughnuts are NOT having anywhere NEAR the same effect they did on me Friday)

Working out is going well - I've been pulling out some of my cardio workouts and trying them with more of a "moderate activity level" approach, rather than trying to actively burn as many calories as possible. There's been a thread at VF that I've been following closely because it seems to address this: Does working out too hard slow/prevent weight loss? I'm interested for a few reasons - admittedly, I'd like to lose weight still, but also, I do need to create fitness habits that are sustainable, and while I think a stint of CLX occasionally, or a few killer HIIT workouts will do me good, I'm inclined to believe that I'll do best with a general level of workout that is a little kinder and gentler than I used to think I needed.

To that end, I went ahead and ordered a set I've been thinking about for several months now: Powerfit Harmony. Which is a system of ten 20-min workouts that work together. You can either do a straight up rotation of them all, or you can do doubles to get 40-min workouts, which is what I'll likely do most of the time. It's definitely time for me to start planning rotations again because I've been waffling a little and not making the best of my time.

I'm so sick of summer....

Bleh.

I had such high hopes for this past weekend. I was going to clean and organize and play in the kitchen and cook new foods. It was going to be fabulous!!

It was fuckin' hot and humid. I mean icky horrible - move and you sweat kind of weather. I've just had too much of that this summer. I don't handle heat and humidity well anyway, but after all we've had lately, I just couldn't take it. I mostly sat in front of a fan and worked on my computer. By Sunday, I was holed up in the bedroom with the AC.

About the only good thing was that I think I have found a reasonably decent solution to managing all the recipes I've been collecting on the internet. I started a Delicious account and I'm bookmarking them all there. That way I can use tags to sort and organize them and make it easier to find the ones I want, and keep track of stuff I want to try.

I always worry a little bit that when I go back to a link, the stuff might not be there anymore, but as I find recipes that I like and that work well, I will either save them to my computer, or print them out and make my own primal cookbook.

I did try one recipe this weekend. Parmesan Crusted Baked "Fried" Zucchini. I did mine in the toaster oven, so I took FOREVER to cook (But I just couldn't bring myself to fire up the oven), and I learned that you need to grease the tinfoil or they stick and you end up peeling all the crust off the backsides. They were really tasty, though, and I'll be making them again when I can stand to be in the kitchen.


Workouts continue to be gentle - mostly stretching and yoga. I was going to do a CLX yesterday, but the heat made that impossible. This morning I didn't even bother. It's supposed to start cooling off, so hopefully and I do some weight lifting later this week. I also have a couple new ones coming that I'll talk about later on. Looks like some really fun stuff!

My hair has been totally flyway and fluffy looking around the head, so I'm going to resist shampooing other than a rare treat. I may look into CO washing and see what that might do for me. I did BC/ACV on Monday and that felt pretty good again. Doesn't fix the hair smell, but I'm going to go shopping for some new essential oils soon and see what I can use that will please the Hubby.

Vacation Report

We took a short family vacation this week. I feel happy and refreshed and a little more stable than I was feeling last weekend. I had been starting to kind of slip into that resentful feeling of never being able to have foods that I love again..... Those thoughts would definitely lead me down the road to ruin.

We took off Tuesday around noon, and had a lunch of primal snacks in the car while we listened to a mystery book on CD. I love that my kids were into it just as much as we were. That evening I had a couple beers, and I ordered pizza for dinner, but it was HORRIBLE and I mostly scraped the toppings off with my teeth. So less damage there than I might have had. (But no wonderful pizza bliss)(Which is okay, I found a really promising recipe for pizza crust and would like to try it out over the weekend).

My beer? Was PINK!!  I had a lovely raspberry cream ale, and it was great:

Wednesday, I spent the whole day riding go-karts and roller coasters - fabulous! The weather was perfect, lots of sunshine, not too hot, pleasant breeze. I had a couple margaritas, and the big splurge: I ate a funnel cake for lunch. That was WONDERFUL. We played at the water park in the evening, and then went out to dinner. My food was mostly primal, but I had three large sugary rum punches, and then we got fudge for dessert. Not surprisingly I had reflux issues in the night. Not TOO horrible, but a nice reminder of why I don't eat like that very much anymore.

Thursday was mostly back to primal, although I had one last go at the fudge just to feel like I really indulged.

Today I'm back on track and feeling very happy with that. I'm looking forward to playing in the kitchen this weekend and moving forward next week when the kids go back to school. I think over all that allowing myself to splurge in situations like this is a good arrangement for me.

I used shampoo in the shower this morning. I'm still not sure if I like the poo-less results. There are pluses: Thicker hair, stays clean longer. But there are minuses too: My hair DOES smell a lot of the time. Not horribly, but earthy and hubby has said he misses the shampoo smell. (I'm experimenting with essential oils in the vinegar rinse for that). Although my hair feels nicer, it doesn't exactly style any better - though this may be an issue of being long overdue for a haircut, so I'm holding judgment on that too.

The biggest issue? Showers are not very satisfying anymore. I MISS the lather and the soap and the luxurious scents. So today I used shampoo. I kept it minimal, and I only used it on the scalp, and it was nice. My plan now is to see if I can incorporate a shampoo now and then and still reap the benefits of being mostly poo-less. No idea if this will work since the shampoo will mostly stimulate oil production, but we'll see.

My pants are falling down!

In the past couple of years I've actually had a LOT of the pants falling down problem, and not really in a good way. I was still at my highest weights, but I think I was sort of inbetween sizes or something - or fat girl jeans have more stretch and get wear-loose faster, I don't know. But it wasn't fun, and it made me feel very dumpy.

I did have ONE pair of tried and true jeans that would stay put. They fit tighter around my waist, but still fit nicely around butt and thighs. Occasionally I'd skip wearing them because I didn't want to deal with the tight waistband cutting into me while sitting at my desk.

Today I am wearing those jeans....and they're falling off. And I'm kind of liking it!

Tomorrow, we head out to take a little family vacation to Wisconsin Dells for a day of go-kart racing and a couple nights in a nice hotel with water slides! Bring on the playtime!

Life After CLX

I'm pleased to say I've been feeling pretty sunny all week! (Gall bladder attack not withstanding) I think my brain has made a pretty successful transition to the new eating style, although I'd love to see my energy levels pick up a little more. I would say I'm *about* back to normal there, maybe not quite, but everyone crows about how MUCH energy they get when they give up grains and sugar, and I wants me some too!

Didn't get workout in Monday or Tuesday due to the whole being sick and useless thing, but I am getting back on track. (But OMG it was hard to get up this morning!! No idea what's going on there)

Wednesday:



This is a fairly new set I got super cheap on Amazon. This is when it totally pays off not to jump on the bandwagons. I wanted this set when it first came out because I'm such a huge Sara Ivanhoe fan, but I was NOT willing to pay the steep price they were asking for such short workouts. It's a set of five 20-min yoga workouts, each with a different focus, which makes them really nice for add-ons, evenings or a light week. NOW, not only did I get the set dirt cheap (an on two disks rather than five), but I ALSO got her Yoga on the Ball as an extra on the second disk, which used to be sold completely separately at full price. Bonzer!!

I've done two of them so far and I like them quite a bit - lovely scenery, excellent instructor. Today was Power for Weight Loss (I HATE those titles), which were some nice poses, not held too long, with extra arm movements. Just what I needed.

Thursday:



Since I was tired, and since I'm taking an easy week (at least), I opted for a 30-Day Shred. It's more of a workout, but still only about 25-min. And I was curious to see how I'd do after CLX. I did well - I didn't get winded much, and I used 7lb weights throughout, BUT I did have to bail on some of the arms. CLX builds strength but doesn't do jack shit for endurance. It also doesn't do much for all the smaller muscles - the yoga was a bitch on my legs!!

Also, my shoulder's acting up again a bit, so I didn't want to stress it. Had it been feeling fine, I could have hung in longer on the arms. I'm kind of feeling creaky all over and I think I'm going to take some time to recover a bit - but I also think that taking the Primal Blueprint approach and applying it to my workouts will be very helpful too. I plan to do more walks in the morning while the weather is nice, but I'm also going to ease up on the intensity with which I do some of the video workouts - make them into more of a pleasant low level activity workout, and less about BLASTING CALORIES OMG.

I have to decide what to do next - I'm going to let myself be random for a week or so while we get back into the school schedule, do a little midweek vacation with the kids next week and all, but then I'd like to design a rotation. Maybe a yoga rotation, or maybe some kind of combo. I should get a few weight workouts in to maintain the CLX muscle. I'm also really starting to itch for something new. I held off on Turbo Fire, and probably will until Christmas or the new year. There are several much less expensive things I'm also interested in, so I'll go for something like that instead.

Busy Times!

Whew! I've been busy lately! But it's all good - well, most of it.

Last week I had a big screen printing job which serves nicely as low level activity AND I get paid for it! But it was so damn hot and I'm just sick to DEATH of being sweaty and drippy. Happily, this week the weather has really cooled off, and it feels great. I even got outside for a nice round of hooping (after which my hands looked like rotten fruit). But I had so much fun and I learned to do my favorite behind the back pass in the other direction so now I can do it both ways and string it together with a vertical walk-through and a few other simple moves. I want to learn the vortex next because I finally found someone who said you can enter it from halo rather than waist hooping, so YAY!


I had a less than pleasant experience yesterday, and now I'm kind of leery. I've had a handful of gall bladder attacks in the past, and they are miserable, horrible events and the last time I had one, I did a bunch of research to figure out how I could make sure it never happened again. One of the things they say causes the attacks is a high fat diet.....um. Since going primal, that's been nagging at the back of my brain, and I've wondered if it was going to be an issue. BUT, since I'd seen no mention of them on the forums, I decided not to worry about it. Then Sunday, I read a post from someone who'd been doing really great, UNTIL, he got struck down with gall bladder issues. Which concerned me a little.

Now I don't know if it was the power of suggestion, or just cruel cruel coincidence, but.....in the late hours of Sunday night, I awoke with the beginnings of a gall bladder attack. Promptly threw up my dinner, and spent the night, and all day Monday lying limp in misery on my bed, the floor, or the recliner. (With the occasional upchuck). I'm feeling fine now, so that's a happy thing.

I'm not entirely sure what to do at this point - I'm certain that just going back to the SAD isn't the answer. Primal is working so well for me in so many other ways. Besides, I had four or five attacks while eating the SAD anyway. I think I just need to perhaps reign in my fat intake just a little bit, and perhaps up the veggies more. I don't know.


In other great news, I am otherwise feeling FANTASTIC!  My mood is back up to happy, perky and optimistic much of the time (it's like the SUN CAME OUT), and I'm finally feeling energetic. That still sort of comes and goes, but I would imagine that's pretty normal. We can't be high energy ALL the time. I'm feeling much more focused and clear - YAY!

Weekend

Things have been very busy lately what with kids and friends, and starting up screen printing at the shop (OMG what a sweat-fest in this humidity), and I meant to post earlier, so I just jumped in here to get down the nitty gritties.


We went to the cabin this weekend, and I took a few liberties. We went to a VERY excellent restaurant for lunch on Saturday, and I was all set to order a burger or salad when I saw a Pesto Grilled Cheese, on sourdough with provolone, spinach and tomato. I made an exception and it was WONDERFUL. I also had a slice of MIL's homemade pie, which is not to be turned down. Other than that, I kept pretty much on the straight and primal.

This week has been fine, although I'm craving fruit like crazy in this hot weather. Plus it tastes SO GOOD!!  You learn how sweet it really is when you're not eating enough sugar to fill a fishbowl the size of your HEAD.

I'm getting very excited about changing up my fitness routine. I have one more workout to complete CLX and I'm going to see that through, but I'm really glad there's no more. It's wearing me out, and it's getting a little hard on my arms. I'll be cutting back the heavy lifting to once, MAYBE twice in a week and focusing more on low level activites like yoga and walking. I need a little recovery time.  Mark's Primal Blueprint Fitness just came out, so I'm going to be taking a look at that and see what I can put together.

I'm thinking about maybe doing the 30-Day Challenge coming up in Sept, depending on how I'm feeling and what work is like. I'm a sucker for stuff like that.

Portobello Mushroom with Canadian Bacon and Provolone

We made a wonderful discovery at dinner this evening! A recipe we made up that is SO delicious I can hardly believe it. Please pardon the mid-devour photo, this needed to be recorded and remembered.


Portobello Mushroom with Canadian Bacon and Provolone

We took a couple of portobello mushrooms and oiled both sides, and put them stem side down on the grill for a few minutes. Then flipped them over and put a slice of Canadian bacon on them, and let that cook for a few minutes. Then right at the end, we added a slice of provolone cheese and cooked until it got nicely melted but wasn't dripping off.

Serve and savor!!

And the cooking results are?

That it's been too damn hot and humid to do much in the way of experimental cooking. Rats.

I did try out a couple things though, and we're slowly expanding our knowledge base. I did NOT accomplish very much organizing or compiling of recipes. The farthest I got was to download a free recipe organizing program that turned out not to be free at all. It pisses me off when they pass off trial versions as shareware.

On Saturday we got a great deal on some fish, so I tried out the Rutabaga Fries for a little fish and chips. Those were a little too strong and I don't think we'll be doing them again. For as rarely as we eat fries, I'll stick to sweet potatoes. It's possible these would be good with more seasoning to even out the flavor.

Sunday, I made Triple Almond Cookies, and they were fabulous. I didn't smash mine flat like she did, I just left them like little cookie bonbons and they were very good that way. I left out the slivered almonds, only used half the amount of syrup, and I didn't have cardamom so I used nutmeg. I will definitely make these again if I get to feeling like I can't have sweet things anymore. They have the right texture and flavor, but still are mostly primal.

Monday night, I took the plunge and tried Summer Squash Fritters. These were very good, and will make for a nice change of pace from time to time. They weren't too involved to prepare, and they have a bit of that doughy/bready feel that lets me think I haven't given up all that much. I saved one and brought it to lunch yesterday, and it tasted just fine - a little softer, but still yummy.

Noodles and steamy things will wait until the weather is a little more bearable.

I'm STILL feeling the effects of lo-carb flu, and I'm SO glad I've already read a couple people who said it took them more than the usual two or so weeks. At least I hope it's still the transition - I'd hate to think this is all I'm gonna get. *sadface* Moodiness and depression are still all over the map (never wildly happy though), but I'm just going to hang tough. With the hot weather, I'd probably be draggy and crabby and tired anyway, so I may as well double up and get it all over with at once.

I'm in the last two weeks of CLX and I think Lean Phase is starting to wear me out a little. In this weather it is anyway - if I do the whole rotation again, I'll do it in the winter. After this, I think I'm going to plan a light and gentle rotation to round out the summer. I'll keep a couple of the CLX workouts in the mix to maintain muscle, and make use of some of my other weight videos, but I think I see a lot of gentle cardio and yoga in my future.

In other little details, I don't really get that horrible hunger at the end of the workday much anymore, and when I do find myself getting hungry (of the stomach growly sort) it goes away MUCH easier and more quickly then when I was eating the old style.

On the other hand, I'm finding myself eating too much at lunch and dinner. I'm not used to the way I feel when satisfied on this food yet and so I keep eating until I think I am, only then it's too late and I feel heavy after meals. I'm working on cutting back portion sizes and just stopping when the food is gone. (I still maintain that I can eat as much as I want, and whatever I want - and I always will. As long as I know that, keeping things under control is actually a LOT easier for me.) So this is just a matter of practice and learning to read my body under new conditions.

No Poo/no soap is pretty well integrated and seems to be going well. My hair isn't quite the way I'd like it yet, but I'm at the stage where it's just a matter of playing around with treatments, pretty much like I used to do - I'm just getting the ideas from new sources.

I'm in the tunnel, where's my light?

Actually, I'm feeling a LOT better today. Sane and everything! I happen to be one of those people for whom knowledge is treatment - tell me the depression is just chemical due to the eating change and it'll go away soon...and magically it does. I'm sure it's not GONE-GONE, and I'm not exactly singing to the heavens here, but I do feel much more normal, and I'm hoping that bodes well for the weekend.

Friday is my official weigh in day, and today I rang up at 222.3, down from last week a little and not too shabby at all for someone who's been rock steady at 232 for damn near about a year. (I was 239 before that, but I think the AD caused me a little weight loss).

I have realized another goal I'd like to achieve in all this. I want to be able to hike my leg up and paint my toe nails like you see in magazines all the time. Preferably with my chin resting gently on my knee and a wisp of hair framing my face perfectly.

Plans for the weekend center largely on experimental cooking for me. I have dozens of recipes saved on my iPod and I'd like to get all that info organized somehow and start to make better use of it. I also want to start doing a little meal planning so I'm more likely to have decent lunch options in the house.

Things I'd like to try:

Zucchini Pasta
There's also a Zucchini Lasagna I'd like to try out, but probably when the weather cools off a little
Apple Cardamom Popovers
Summer Squash Fritters

I may also try out a cookie recipe if I have time. I know some primal people are very much against fake foods, but I'm not - there are things in life I enjoy and if I can find healthier versions to treat myself with occasionally, I'm going to do it. If I couldn't, there's no way I could stick to this eating style.

If it becomes a problem in the future, I'll worry about that then.

Depression as part of Transition.

The depression thing just keeps getting worse....I had a total breakdown last night, with the crying and freaking out and the whole nine yards. I haven't done that in six months.

On the plus side, I posted my dilemma at Mark's Daily Apple Forum, and got some very reassuring responses. It does seem that this is VERY LIKELY to be a symptom of the transitional phase and it will get better with time. I'm just going to have to hang tough and weather the storm. Fortunately, Hubby is an understanding guy.

In the meantime, I'm going to try to really even out my eating more, and I'm probably going to avoid all alcohol until I'm feeling better. I did have three glasses of wine while out last night and I'm sure that contributed to the situation.

Depression and Primal?

Hitting a bit of a rocky patch on our road to transition. At least I am...Hubby's doing pretty well.

I got past the SUPER fatigue and have been feeling a lot better in that regard, although I sure as hell wouldn't say I've got boundless energy. (NOTE: It's been hot an humid here for a few weeks and I'm getting pretty sick of it, so that may have as much to do with my mood and energy levels as anything).

The worst thing, currently, is that my depression seems to be on the uptick and I'm not AT ALL happy about that. (Ha ha). I'm finding it a little alarming since it was just this time last summer that I totally hit the wall, felt like my brain was a foreign substance and finally had to go see a doctor. I don't want to be back there. I'm clinging to the hope that this is all just part of the transitional phase and soon it will pass. If nothing else, I expect to see an improvement when the weather changes. (I'm not exactly in a deep dark hole here, but last night I was mopey and just couldn't muster up the energy/motivation to do ANYTHING but lie on the bed and watch TV. I wanted to read but I didn't even have the drive to do that).

Along with the depression, comes some of the old cravings and longings. This is also concerning me. I'm banking on the idea that these are simply thought patterns of habit - "I feel blah and lousy = I want cookies and ice cream" - and when I feel better, they'll subside. I haven't given in to very much - a few beers the other night, and a little freer license with the dark chocolate and cashew butter.

The blahs and lack of motivation are making it kind of hard to effectively plan meals and think about what I need to get from the grocery store, which is making dinners kind of odd, and lunches incredibly difficult and uninspired. I definitely need to turn this around if I want to be able to stay on track and install this style of eating as my new habit.

I did find a replacement for the Diet Sprite - Club Soda! It's not something I think would be good for me to drink all the time, but if it's really hot, or in the evenings when I want something a little more interesting than water, club soda on ice totally fits the bill. It gives me everything I loved about DS but is far better for me. Plus, I can add a splash of fruit juice to really make it nice.

On the workout front, my strength seems to be returning. Working out this morning felt great and I was strong and solid, none of that weak feeling I had last week. So transition IS happening.

Also? I finally mastered WAIST HOOPING over the weekend!!  (Mastered is not really the correct word, since I'm still on the basics and not yet able to really dance while hooping the way I want to, but it conveys my excitement). I was really very worried that my body shape would make it nearly impossible and I'd never get to the level I'd really like to reach....but now I see that anything is possible given enough time and practice. I am now able to keep the hoop spinning on my waist for several minutes and groove a bit to the music.



The mini hooping (twins) is proving to be seriously challenging, but that might be partially because my hoops are too light - I'm looking into getting the right materials to make my own. Aside from that, there's a TON of coordination that needs to be learned and that's just time on the hill (as my dad would say - we are skiers).

No-poo is going very well so far. I'm not saddled with ultra greasy hair, which is nice. It may even be a little dry, and often looks a little dull and fluffy these days. I'm going to stick to the basic routine for a couple weeks and then see about tinkering. Like everything else, there is a transition period in this and there's no point in screwing around until my hair has had a chance to adjust. I've also gone soapless, and that's been just fine - no huge difference, but my skin is a little less dry.

My big goal for the weekend is to start going through all the links and recipes I've saved and start organizing them into some kind of a useful format so we can move forward with learning how to fix meals this way as easily as we did the old way. I need to create a stable of good standbys, etc. I'd also like to get the chance to do a little more experimental cooking.

Progress and No Poo

Happy to say I am feeling MUCH better!!  I think the worst of the lo-carb flu is behind me now. Both Hubby and I seem to be in a less dramatic transition phase at the moment - mostly in terms of muscle stamina, but my mood is still rocky, and in spite of what he says, so is his.


Still no real issue with cravings - I'm continually AMAZED by that. I really am - I could NEVER go this long without needing some kind of junky treat. Granted, I am eating a square of dark chocolate everyday at lunch (but not touching the bars in the cupboard at home), and having the occasional spoon of cashew butter.

The thing I'm missing the most, honestly - is Diet Sprite over ice. *woe*  It's been hot and yucky around here, and water (even with ice) just doesn't taste as cold and refreshing. Small deal, and if it gets bad enough, I will have one in the same way I'd have a cocktail - as a treat to be savored.

We have The Primal Blueprint now, and are reading it, along with The Paleo Diet. I suspect we will fall down with a hybrid of the two eventually. There are bits and pieces of both that make sense to me - some of which are completely contradictory, and sometimes I don't know who to believe. That, so far, is one of the hardest parts of this transition. Cholesterol - will it kill Hubby or is it no big deal. Dairy, yes or no? *sigh*

As part of all this, I've decided to go No-Poo. It's not a new idea to me - I used to read about it when I hung out on the long hair forums. (When I...you know, had long hair). I am highly swayed by the numerous reports of fuller, bouncier, shiner more manageable hair that washes windows and does the dishes, and I want some o'that. So far, it hasn't been too bad, and I'll make a post next week about the whole process and how it's turning out.

This weekend we are off to the cabin for fun in the woods, and some hooping with my sister. I just got myself a brand new set of twins, and I'm hoping to make a new hoop tonight since I'm not all that happy with the last one I made.

Staying primal shouldn't be too hard, since they always have meat for dinner, and there are usually leftovers. But, honestly...I'm not turning down my mother-in-law's pie. It's just too good to pass up. *g*

Progress so far

We've been into this in one fashion or another now for about two weeks - the bulk of that was completely half-assed and MAYBE 60/40 on average. That's getting ever closer to about an 80/20 I think. I'm still not entirely sure what I'm doing but I know it's better than what I WAS doing.

Results?

* I have not had heartburn AT ALL for a week and a half or more (it took me a couple days to realize it). This is HUGE in and of itself because I've had chronic heartburn for years, and was diagnosed with Acid Reflux. I was even on Nexium for a while until I couldn't afford it and Tums worked pretty well. Along with some acid reducer drug from Walmart that I'd take preventatively once in a while. I was chewing Tums a few times every day! (This alone is probably enough to keep on this path)


* I am getting a crash course in cooking and creative thinking through this process, and I think we're doing fairly well so far. My favorite meal so far is Bacon Wrapped Chicken Thighs with Avocado Smooshed on Top, Sauteed Beets, and Salad. OMG so good!!!

* I haven't had too much in the way of cravings or difficulty in avoiding things I shouldn't eat. This kind of surprises me, and kind of doesn't. I used to be an absolute addict and could NOT resist sugary treats if they were around. I'd obsess about them until I finally just went and ate them. And ate and ate and ate.

About two years ago I got heartily sick of the whole diet bandwagon and everything that with it and I got off. I refused to diet anymore and decided to eat whatever the hell I wanted. A surprising thing happened - I did eat anything I wanted, and I didn't gain any weight - and I was eating a lot of junk too. But the freedom to have anything, any time, as much as I wanted took all the power away from those foods and I got to the point that I could have candy in the house and take it or leave it. Sometimes, I even left it. I also spent a lot of time on the size acceptance blog and developed a whole new appreciation of myself. I think these two things laid the groundwork for the current transformation.

Admittedly, I'm very worried that the planning and thinking and learning about primal eating might spin me right back into that obsessive mindset I had once upon a time when I was counting calories and making myself crazy. The very thing that made me give it all up in the first place. It's already happening a little - worrying about grass-fed vs grain-fed beef, and Omega ratios and whether or not having bananas in my smoothie will derail all my efforts. I'm working hard to maintain the view that ANYTHING I do now is better than what I did before. Right now the focus needs to be on simply changing the foods I eat - maybe later I can worry about where they came from and what THEY ate....

* On the not so good side, Hubby and I are both suffering from the lo-carb flu. Mine is far worse at this point. On Sunday, Hubby was depressed and sluggish, and he's been a little foggy headed all week. I have been foggy and disoriented all week, and so SO tired. Yesterday I just PASSED OUT on the sofa at work (we own the place). Today I am the utter bitch from hell and wildly emotional. I'd really like this part to end now, thanks.

I'm sure there's lots more to report, but right now I'm foggy as hell and can't think....

Yet Another Girl Gone Primal....

On the cusp of my 41st birthday, and riding high on a wave of new self-acceptance and awareness that's been two years in the making, I discovered a link to Mark's Daily Apple and The Primal Blueprint.

That was July 1st or 2nd, and I spent a long weekend at the cabin pouring over blog posts on my iPod and mulling over the possibility of adopting a lifestyle like this. I even tried it out a little bit. My Dad is a pretty big meat eating guy and so they always it at the center of a meal. I just went heavy on the veggies and skipped the bread. I didn't skip the pie, however, or the beer...just toyed with the idea of what it might be like to eat that way.

Over the course of the next week, I went as primal as possible with what I had at home and what little knowledge I really had of the style. As far as Hubby knew, I was just craving steak!YAY, and I let that stand while I continued to read and research. About the middle of the week, I finally fessed up to him what was going on and what I wanted to try. He'd just been bemoaning his own spare tire and it seemed like the perfect opportunity to get him on board - win/win for me since it would make my progress easier, and it would net me a healthier Hubby. He said he was willing to give it a shot.

We spent the rest of that week eating pretty close to 100% primal, since we were testing out recipes and trying out foods. We also both opted to give up Diet Coke - something else I've been thinking of for a while. (DC tangent: We had gotten to the point that we were each drinking at least six or more Diet Cokes a day. I had given it up a few times before, but always end up back to swilling the stuff before too long. I KNEW drinking it was a bad idea).

I managed to get Hubby to do some reading and we had several long talks about what we each want out of this, and where our trouble spots might be. Both of us are mainly looking for better health, with a heaping sidedish of weight loss. Neither one of us really cares how much, we'd just like to weigh less.


I don't especially care how MUCH I weigh, I just want to feel good and look good. The tipping point for me is this: I'd like to be able to wear nicer clothes. I've ALWAYS been plus-sized and I'm very picky about clothes. Right now there's a million fabulous things in stores I'd love to wear...but they're never in my size.

So, I don't really have a goal weight in mind. I plan to just eat primal and work out and do my thing and see where I get to. My suspicion is that if primal eating really works for me the way it seems to for most people, I stand to be able to get down to something like mildly overweight while still having my few little indulgences here and there. I'm not really looking to get ripped the way many primal enthusiasts are.