Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Depression and Primal?

Hitting a bit of a rocky patch on our road to transition. At least I am...Hubby's doing pretty well.

I got past the SUPER fatigue and have been feeling a lot better in that regard, although I sure as hell wouldn't say I've got boundless energy. (NOTE: It's been hot an humid here for a few weeks and I'm getting pretty sick of it, so that may have as much to do with my mood and energy levels as anything).

The worst thing, currently, is that my depression seems to be on the uptick and I'm not AT ALL happy about that. (Ha ha). I'm finding it a little alarming since it was just this time last summer that I totally hit the wall, felt like my brain was a foreign substance and finally had to go see a doctor. I don't want to be back there. I'm clinging to the hope that this is all just part of the transitional phase and soon it will pass. If nothing else, I expect to see an improvement when the weather changes. (I'm not exactly in a deep dark hole here, but last night I was mopey and just couldn't muster up the energy/motivation to do ANYTHING but lie on the bed and watch TV. I wanted to read but I didn't even have the drive to do that).

Along with the depression, comes some of the old cravings and longings. This is also concerning me. I'm banking on the idea that these are simply thought patterns of habit - "I feel blah and lousy = I want cookies and ice cream" - and when I feel better, they'll subside. I haven't given in to very much - a few beers the other night, and a little freer license with the dark chocolate and cashew butter.

The blahs and lack of motivation are making it kind of hard to effectively plan meals and think about what I need to get from the grocery store, which is making dinners kind of odd, and lunches incredibly difficult and uninspired. I definitely need to turn this around if I want to be able to stay on track and install this style of eating as my new habit.

I did find a replacement for the Diet Sprite - Club Soda! It's not something I think would be good for me to drink all the time, but if it's really hot, or in the evenings when I want something a little more interesting than water, club soda on ice totally fits the bill. It gives me everything I loved about DS but is far better for me. Plus, I can add a splash of fruit juice to really make it nice.

On the workout front, my strength seems to be returning. Working out this morning felt great and I was strong and solid, none of that weak feeling I had last week. So transition IS happening.

Also? I finally mastered WAIST HOOPING over the weekend!!  (Mastered is not really the correct word, since I'm still on the basics and not yet able to really dance while hooping the way I want to, but it conveys my excitement). I was really very worried that my body shape would make it nearly impossible and I'd never get to the level I'd really like to reach....but now I see that anything is possible given enough time and practice. I am now able to keep the hoop spinning on my waist for several minutes and groove a bit to the music.

The mini hooping (twins) is proving to be seriously challenging, but that might be partially because my hoops are too light - I'm looking into getting the right materials to make my own. Aside from that, there's a TON of coordination that needs to be learned and that's just time on the hill (as my dad would say - we are skiers).

No-poo is going very well so far. I'm not saddled with ultra greasy hair, which is nice. It may even be a little dry, and often looks a little dull and fluffy these days. I'm going to stick to the basic routine for a couple weeks and then see about tinkering. Like everything else, there is a transition period in this and there's no point in screwing around until my hair has had a chance to adjust. I've also gone soapless, and that's been just fine - no huge difference, but my skin is a little less dry.

My big goal for the weekend is to start going through all the links and recipes I've saved and start organizing them into some kind of a useful format so we can move forward with learning how to fix meals this way as easily as we did the old way. I need to create a stable of good standbys, etc. I'd also like to get the chance to do a little more experimental cooking.

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