Nori Chips and Workouts

Hrm....they screwed with the dashboard here. Let's how this works.

Things have been going well. My eating has been pretty clean for the most part, and I've been feeling great. Last weekend we went to my mom's house for the weekend. It wasn't too hard to eat primal there, she knows what we're doing is more than happy to accommodate us. Although, then she also snacks and has treats, and wants to try nifty new recipes she's found that are served on bread. I sampled some things, and had two small oatmeal pancakes at the diner (which were to DIE for, and totally worth having, and didn't even need syrup, so I skipped it and just put butter on them), but I also had a fried egg over salad greens with them, which was really good - I'll be doing that at home.

Workouts have been going well, too. I'm still taking a very organic, do what I feel like kind of approach, and it's working pretty well. I've gotten in some heavy weight lifting. I had a few glasses of wine this past Friday night and decided it was a good idea to try out my new Kelley Coffey-Meyer 30 Minutes - Weights by jumping right into the total body pre-mix. Heh - she totally kicked my ass, BUT I made it through the whole thing, and I did 12 pound tricep kickbacks - not something I'm used to.

I also got in some CLX, walking and tried out more new Ellen Barrett. (Now I'm lusting after some barre DVDs a few people on the Video Fitness Forum are raving about, gonna have to sit on my fingers).

I came across this post on Can You Stay for Dinner? on how to make great 400 calorie salads which I really liked because it presents a formula for assembling salads, rather than specific recipes, which is really great. I've seen another similar post somewhere around recently, too, and these are the things I'm trying to find and compile into a sort of guidebook for myself for primal eating as a lifestyle, and how to really change the way I think about meals.

I tried making egg cups (the kind with bacon in a muffin pan), and those weren't really as good I thought they'd be. The tops came out like vinyl and they didn't hold together as much as I'd like. I'll stick to mini quiches, I think.

I also took a stab at making nori chips, and those were MUCH more successful! I think I'm in love - they are SO GOOD!

Yesterday, I spend a very long time cleaning our bedroom, which had gotten pretty gross over the winter, and things upstairs are really very nice now, which feels great. We're getting some things squared away at work too, which hopefully will help offset the monumental stress still hammering us there.

Nothing planned for this coming weekend, so hopefully we can get lots more things done that will make life even better.

Excellent Weekend

This weekend has been fantastic and exactly what I needed!

Friday evening we had dinner with my teenaged son and his girlfriend, and that was really pleasant. (Which totally had NOTHING to do with the three glasses wine, or the cute bartender who always flirts with us.) When we got home, I packed some almonds, eggs, my jar of coconut, some dark chocolate and the last of my recent batch of Blueberry Nut Balls, and an avocado into a lunch box to bring along, so I'd have some fallback supplies.

Dad's breakfast supplies included bacon and eggs, so I was good there.

Sat morning, I took a walk up the long driveway and back, including a little foray out onto the road to catch a couple of hills, plus some trail walking around the property and I'm happy to report that I LOVED IT!! It felt great, both on the trails and driveway, and on the paved road. So, I think I'm safe to say that it's just the crappy road by my house that's bad for me. Kinda sucks, but it is what it is.

We got the pontoon boat in the water and took it for a little spin, which was very good for my soul (and my stress).

For lunch we hit up a local brewpub, and I did have a nice scotch ale, but just one. I also had a burger with cheese and avocado, sans bun, and was pleasantly surprised to find that the fresh vegetable option was a heaping pile of BRUSSELS SPROUTS, that were clearly fresh and cooked perfectly. I was IN AWE. I think I'm still high on sprout bliss.

My sister went to the candy store, and I didn't, and even though she brought back a pound of fudge, I didn't have any. (She got some that was chock loaded with nuts, which I think have no business being in fudge, so that helped.) I also did not ever get around to having any of my own chocolate and coconut.

They decided on hot dogs and chips for dinner, so I ate my avocado, some almonds and nut ball.

Today was rainy and crappy, so I didn't get to do any more walking around at the cabin, but my eating was excellent, and I fit in a workout this afternoon at home:

This is new one for me, and my first time with it - I must say that I really loved it! It's got a lot of interesting moves, and a TON of cross-body core work, which I adore. Plenty of nice plank work too. It was a killer for me because my fitness level is down, but that's okay. I'm pleased to see that some of my strength, such as core for planks, seems to be coming back rather quickly.

Our kids are gone for most of the week on a school trip, so we're planning to try out some new recipes and do a little experimental cooking.

Walking

Things are going well. It's easier this around in a lot of ways because I already know how it's done for the most part. I don't have to learn all the concepts and the rules, I already know a ton of the tricks and several good recipes. I even know some of the things that do and don't work for me.

Clearly, I don't know them all or I wouldn't have to be starting over, I'd just be going on my merry way. But I'm learning.

I've spent time in the last couple of days searching out blogs that I find inspiring on either the food front or the fitness front. I've even got a few that are inspiring from the weight loss point of view. Those are a little dicey, though....the two best ones in terms of approach and outlook are women who are not even thirty. And while I find their stories and adventures interesting and inspiring, I also find myself extremely jealous that they were able to do it so young and here I am nearly twice their age and I haven't been able to do it YET.

It's depressing to think of all that time wasted, and there they are getting to enjoy it all while they're still young. Clearly, I'm going to have to find a way to let go of this line of thinking ASAP, because it's not productive at all. (except for perhaps a little motivation not to waste any more time, but the damage I will do far outweighs this.) Because, okay....I'm forty-two. I'm not pushing up daisies yet. And I haven't actually wasted all this time - I've done a lot of great things, and had a pretty nice life. I've just done them fat. But truthfully, about the only thing that would be significantly different about those years if I'd been thin is that I would have been better dressed. So....have to work on this.

Yesterday, at work I felt restless and a little cruddy so I went out for a quick walk around the block (which includes a decent hill climb on one end), and I really enjoyed it. A LOT. I enjoyed it so much, I decided to go for a walk when we got home. I got out on the dirt road by our house, which is a two mile walk down and back. And....I HATED IT. It was so uncomfortable, and the rocks hurt my feet even through my shoes, and the uneven ground made my lower back hurt like hell. I was so disappointed. I'd wanted to just cruise along, clearing my head and working my body, but instead I felt like an albatross.

Turns out I like walking on nice smooth pavement. I did some walking around town today to test, and it felt great again. This is a bit of a bummer since the only pavement near my house is the busy roads, and I wouldn't feel comfortable walking there. On the other hand, I'm sure with some creative thought I'll be able to find ways to get in lots of walking in places I enjoy. From now on, if I want a walk after work, I'll do it here in town BEFORE heading home.

One thing I can foresee is that I will want a "walking bag" to keep in the car with a visor and a belt and whatever else I think might make me comfortable if I decide to stop someplace and have a spur of the moment walk. I'll have to start checking out some of the parks around here too. We're going to the cabin this weekend, so I can test out my walking preferences on the unpaved driveway there and see if it the deal is that I really like super flat and smooth walking, or if it's just that I DON'T like the large gravel/crappy road walking.

Aside from the exercise, I'm REALLY hoping to make walking a big part of my stress reduction plan, and a way to beat the depression.

Eating's been fine, about the only thing I did that could be tweaked is that I drank too much wine on a couple of occasions. (What? Drinking a whole bottle of champagne is completely reasonable when your father is visiting and your son's girlfriend is over.)

Had my first green monster of the season this morning, and IT WAS GOOD. :)  (I don't drink them in the winter, really)

Anyway - we'll see how I do over the weekend. I won't have as much control over the food situation, and I'm really not sure what will be going on. But, Dad is a big meat and salad and eggs man, so we ought to be okay.

Irony, thy name is Sassy

Heh. Bit of an eye opener when I came on here to post because I'm making a renewed effort at primal, and really trying to get it right this time, and uh-rah and the whole nine yards...to find that my last post was the exact same thing. At about the exact same time. With pretty much the exact same catalyst. The Florida trip.

I don't know what it is about me that I have these swings where sometimes I can be pretty rock solid on this stuff, like I feel now, and other times it's completely fucking impossible - like it's been for the last nine months or so. I just don't get it. I suspect I may always be searching for the answer.

BUT - I'm grateful for this blog, so I could see that and get a good look at what I'm doing.

So, here's the skinny on me now:


I am still on the anti-depressants, and I'm okay with that for now. (I have some MAJOR stress factors in life right now.)

Let's put that out front - I have MAJOR stress in terms of getting my teenaged son to figure out what he's doing in life and do it (he's a senior), I have stress at our shop where it seems we keep getting more and more in debt. I have stress at home where we're doing okay, but are in pretty major debt, and I'm dealing with the teenaged son and his issues.)

I am JUST getting back into working out, as I lost the thread on that too.

I have good friends, and a fair amount of support in my life.

I have my hubby who's great, and is also trying to be primal.

I still have two teens in the house which has made staying primal more difficult since they bring home all kinds of yummy crap.

So, I guess I'll see if I can unravel more of my issues so I can keep up with this for good this time.

So far, so good

I'm back from vacation and rarin' to go!

We had a blast in Florida, although I wasn't remotely primal. At all. But so much fun!  And I faced my fear of heights and went parasailing.




These are my toes, and that's the boat pulling me :D

Since getting back, I've felt very positive about getting back on track, which is something I don't think I could say 2-3 weeks ago. Over the course of the winter, I got really depressed and down on the whole idea - feeling like I could never cook anything normal ever again, and feeling gypped that I couldn't just eat whatever I wanted to. I was pretty sure that was depression talking, and now I'm sure of it. I've started a Primal Journal at Mark's Daily Apple forums to try and build up a little support base before winter rolls around again.

Since getting back, it's like someone flipped a switch in my head and I'm not obsessing about sweets anymore, and I AM looking forward to learning new primal meals again.

While in Florida, I stopped at the piratey spice shop The Spice & Tea Exchange (where they remembered me from December!), and picked up four of their spice blends for some yummy eats - including an Espresso Steak Rub (OMG).

On the way home, we also made a stop at Trader Joe's to get a selection of goodies from there: Kerrygold butter, sardines, taco seasoning, etc.

It's only been three days, of course, but it's been an easy three days - which hasn't happened in the past four months in spite of me trying on more than one occasion.

Back with the Spring!

I'm back.

I've had kind of a rough winter and was very worried that perhaps primal had been just another in a string of failed attempts to change the way I eat and live...but I don't think so. I don't think it's the golden path to nirvana, but I think I'm going in the right direction. I'll never be perfect, but I believe I have found a system I can live with (which is still in progress).

Toward the end of November, I just fell completely off the wagon. My daughter and I did some cookie baking over Deer Season, and after that I never really got back on track. I was cool with that - I figured I'd take the holidays to enjoy things I'd been missing, and not try to force myself to deny the MILLIONS of temptations around that time when I was still fairly green (and just recently off my eat anything mantra that helped so much with breaking a lot of my guilt and food issues).

Unfortunately, when January rolled around, I just couldn't do it. I'd stopped working out almost entirely, and just could NOT get back into the swing of my healthier lifestyle. Hubby was struggling a little too, though not as bad as I was. We managed a lot of primal lunches and dinners, but we also had a lot of non-primal meals, and I ate a LOT of junk and sweets.

It's not until just in the last couple of weeks that my "other self" has returned. I started working out mornings last week like I'd never dropped it. This is insane - I tried like HELL to get back in the habit and just COULD NOT do it....then last week - CLICK - the mojo was back. I'm really hoping food will be the same way.

Here's a bullet point rundown of where I'm at:

* One thing I have not had much trouble with is soda - I've had a very occasional craving for it, but haven't really given in much (not any more than I did when I was seriously primal, which wasn't much). I have NOT gone back to the Diet Coke AT ALL. (When I indulge it's usually Sprite or Cream Soda - treat drinks)

* On the other hand, my consumption of beer and margaritas is up by a lot, which might partially be due to missing pop - also due to winter blahs and my own general nature.

* The sugar monster is back - I've been in a state where I can't go more than a day or two before I'm dying for a sweet fix, and give in. (The drinking ain't helping this either)

* Part of my feelings during the off the wagon phase were due to feeling like there was no variety in primal eating and I would be doomed to blah meals. I know this isn't true and just need to find some new recipes and spark up my interest in cooking. Just found a possible fake bread that holds up to sandwich making - that alone will be HUGE if it works.

* I've been off my hormone therapy for the past month or so, and I think that's had a hand in my recent eating spree. I'm back on it now, so we'll see if I don't find things easier to corral.

* I'm back to reading the forums, finally - both at Mark's Daily Apple, and at Video Fitness, and I know that will help with the motivation. While I was off the wagon, I really couldn't bring myself to even look at them, so I'm finding my renewed interest to be hopeful sign.

* The heartburn has been back quite a lot in the past few weeks and THAT is motivating me to get my act together


* My recent workouts are having a remarkable effect on how I feel physically - my core section had been getting that weird uncomfortable feeling I had before, but today it feels very comfortable again. I'm also noticing some change in the lower body already with improved muscle tone and a little shaping out.

* I have kept up with the green monster breakfasts most of the time I was off the wagon. If not, it was usually banana and yogurt.

Of course, all this new found motivation and sparked interest comes a week before we go on vacation. I've been working out for just two weeks and now we leave on Saturday for a whole week. This is not to say that  can't get in some good walks while we're in Florida, but I know myself too well to think that I can start the process of returning to true primal in that setting so I'm not even going to try. I'll enjoy the hell out of myself when I'm there and plan to start anew when we get back. Also, if I'm good the following week, I can just squeak my Sweet Sixteen in under the wire. (Sweet Sixteen is a check-in group I belong to on Video Fitness and it refers to getting in at least sixteen workouts each month)

I've been thinking about what's gone on in the past few months and trying to devise strategies to get back on track before I undo EVERYTHING. In large part, I think spring will help a whole lot just on it's own, and a week in Florida warmth and sunshine is going to be a nice kickstart.

One thing is that I plan to make Saturday a "free day" in which I can eat any damn thing I want to - this might help me deal with the constant cravings and the "woe is me" feeling of not being able to eat the foods I really love. I get very disillusioned when I think of NEVER having "X" AGAIN, and if I can avoid that feeling, I'll do much better. While I've never actually taken that stance, and have always maintained that I can eat anything I want to (and practiced that philosophy), I think having a regular and frequent outlet at least for the time being will be a way for me to get back in.

Another, as I said before, is to find some new recipes to bring back the joy of primal eating.

It's going to be a little touch and go, a little experimental for a while, but I think I'm turning a corner again here.

Update

I've been a little AWOL lately because I've been dealing with some sort of recurring UTI infection/similar symptoms/we don't know what the hell.

It's been over a month now, and I've taken four different prescriptions including a sulfa drug - and the primary symptom just keeps coming back. And then it will go away again. And then when I'm just feeling smug and free...BACK!!

My approach for today is to just pretend I have no problem. Nothing. Nothing to see here. Move along please. Maybe I can out think the damn thing, or it will go away if no one is paying attention to it.

Spent the weekend at my mother's house in beautiful autumn splendor and her very tastefully decorated home. We had a fabulous dinner of pot roast and three kinds of squash we'd picked up at the farmer's market that day. We also took a detour to check out a thrift sale...

And I got a peanut butter machine FOR A DOLLAR!!!




It's so cool!!  I couldn't find any cashews to try in it, but I got some pecans and made pecan butter, which was delicious on pear slices. We got some cashews yesterday and tonight I'll give that a try. I'm so excited!!  I thought I'd have to get a whole new food processor if I want to make my own nut butters.....but all it took was A DOLLAR at a thrift sale!!

On the downside, my step-dad really likes to buy doughnuts and leave them sitting out, and because I was feeling sorry for myself about the UTI situation....I had some. (And they were delicious). I don't feel HORRIBLE GUILT over it, but it's clear that my primal induced willpower and lack of cravings are not completely bullet proof and I do need to watch it. I'm also a bit bummed I did that because I've been hoping to break my current plateau and get moving again, and that ain't gonna happen if I'm scarfing crap.

In other news, I'm considering trying out dairy-free for a while and see what that does. I have mixed feelings about that. There are a lot of things I won't have any issue giving up, but eliminating cheese from all my cooking could sting quite a bit. I'm wondering if one can go mostly dairy-free, eating only cheese and only 2-3 nights a week and still reap the benefits of dairy free. I tend to doubt it since that's like saying if you only put ONE drop of red food coloring into the water, it will still be clear.

I might try no-poo again at some point - I cut all my hair off (seriously - pixie cut!!) and now I think I might see some of the "more manageable" results. It's worth a try at any rate.